


John: figure shit out. ====>

by nightlyRain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Also slow updates, Bro is a drunk, Bro is also abusive when he's drunk, Like really fucking slow, M/M, No direct abuse pictured, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Characters, Trans Male Characters, Trans!Dave Strider, Trans!John Egbert, Transphobia, abuse mention, unbelievably slow build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5322449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightlyRain/pseuds/nightlyRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternatively titled in which John struggles as a trans freshman in high school who may or may not be totally gay for his best friend, who is, coincidentally, also a trans freshman in high school.</p><p>(Note: this is NOT abandoned and it WILL be updated asap,, i am really sorry guys filler chapters are hard and i have a very specific plan for when they get together,, i might change that though and just make it two months sooner in the story timeline than i planned for the sake of getting it flowing again)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Young Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled in which set-up happens and John comes out as a trans boy.

A young man stands in his room. It so happens that today, 1 September, 2010, is this young man’s first day of high school. Though it was over fourteen years ago that he was given life, only now will he be given a name.

 

Enter Name. ====>

 

JANE EGBERT

 

Yeah, no. Nice try. I said a young man, smartass.

 

Try Again. ====>

 

JOHN EGBERT

 

Your name is JOHN EGBERT. As previously mentioned, it is YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, and you are STANDING IN YOUR ROOM. More specifically, you’re standing next to your bed, stretching out. You have a lot on your mind. First, you have to tell your dad about the whole boy thing.

You see, you weren’t always the young man you are today. When you were born, you weighed 8 lbs., your black hair could’ve been considered long, given your size, and you were named Jane.

You had figured out you were trans when you were about 8. You tried to tell a girl who was your best friend at the time, but it made her stop talking to you. So you didn’t tell anyone else. It didn’t stop her spreading rumours, but lucky for you, she wasn’t exactly popular, nor was she considered trustworthy.

But your dad would be okay with it… Right? You thought so. You hoped so. As soon as you started to develop breasts, you’d asked him for a binder, and he got you one without question. Whenever you needed a new one, you could just say the word and a new one would be on its way through the mail system. And, last year, right before your 13th birthday, you had asked him to call you John, and he did--although, he slipped up and accidentally called you Jane every once in a while. He still does, even now. But he always apologises and always has, and corrects himself immediately. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t still call you by female pronouns, nor does it mean he’s stopped calling you his daughter… But, that’s what you plan to get him to stop doing.

What will you do?

 

John: tell your dad you’re a boy. ====>

 

You’re not ready to do that yet. You just got out of bed.

 

John: take a shower and get dressed. ====>

 

That, you can do. You grab the blue towel hanging from your door hook, then go to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

 

John: be the other boy. ====>

 

You are now the other boy; the one who has remained unmentioned until now. You are sitting in class, bored to no end. It is your second week of school. Wednesday, the first of September. It is also the first day of school for your best friend, John.

Who starts school on a Wednesday??

John, you guess.

Anyways.

 

Enter Name. ====>

 

HIPSTER POSER

 

Fuck off.

 

Try Again. ====>

 

DAVE STRIDER

 

There we go.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER. It was already mentioned that you are IN CLASS. Specifically, math class, but who cares about that?

You’d love to say there are a couple girls staring at you and giggling or daydreaming, but you’d be lying. Sure, you’re the resident cool kid at this school, but not everyone recognises that. In fact, nobody recognises that (except you, of course), but shut up, you’re 100% cool.

What will you do?

 

Dave: continue being a dork. ====>

 

Once again, fuck off.

 

Dave: be uncool. ====>

 

That is impossible.

 

Dave: fine. Pester John, then. ====>

 

You don’t see why not. Your math teacher gave you free time and you don’t have homework. And lucky you, your school allows phones during free time.

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 9:30 --

TG: dude

TG: dude im bored where are you

TG: dude please

EB: wow dave. aren’t you supposed to be in class?

TG: i am. we got free time though

EB: dave i can’t encourage you to text in class. you’re going to get in trouble!

TG: fight me you goody two shoes

TG: no but like chill

TG: the teacher said we could

EB: oh.

EB: you should’ve told me that.

TG: i just did, dude

TG: and really have i ever broken a rule where the consequences would include getting my phone confiscated

EB: … you never actually break ANY rules if i remember correctly.

TG: are you callin me a loser

EB: no, i’m calling you a good kid who doesn’t get in trouble on purpose.

EB: aka not stupid.

EB: even though you’re totally dumb. and a big dork, too.

TG: wow rude

TG: but also thanks

TG: i know, im hella smart

EB: …

EB: did you seriously just say hella?

TG: yes fight me

TG: you got a problem with that egbert

EB: well given you don’t live in northern california, it makes you sound like a hipster douchebag.

TG: so now youre callin me a hipster

TG: rude

TG: i thought we had something

EB: oh shut up you big dork.

EB: as much as i’d love to continue this friendly mockery, i have to go talk to my dad.

EB: it’s kind of really important.

EB: so if there’s something important you want to say, say it now because i have to go.

TG: nah if you have to talk to your dad that badly go ahead man i mean i was just bored

EB: thanks dave.

EB: bye! :B

TG: later

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:40 --

 

Oh, well. For a brief moment you wonder what John could be talking to his dad about, but it’s none of your business, so you decide to let it go for now and pester someone else.

In the meantime…

 

Dave: be John. ====>

 

Your name is John Egbert and you are very nervous.

Your dad is downstairs calling you. School starts at nine (awesome, right?), and it’s eight now. He wants to take you out to Starbucks for breakfast to celebrate the beginning of this 4-year-long era known as high school.

“Coming, Dad!” you call from upstairs. You’re still in your room, standing in front of your mirror.

 

John: examine and reflect on your reflection. ====>

 

You usually hate your appearance. Your face is too round and feminine, your shoulders are too narrow, your hips are too wide, your body is too curvy… etc.

However, your dad took you to get a haircut yesterday. You’re feeling pretty confident with your messy, short hair, loose Ghostbusters tee (which was a gift from Dave for your fourteenth birthday; it was decidedly better than your ripoff slime ghost tee), and guys’ jeans. The jeans, like the tee, were a gift, but they were from your cousin, Jade. You’re out to her, and she had sort of accidentally outed you to your grandpa on your mom’s side--which was okay, because he was okay with it and promised not to tell your dad unless you told him to.

Anyways.

You take a deep breath. “I’m John Egbert,” you whisper to yourself. The name had been strange to say at first, but you’ve since grown used to it, and it feels much better coming off of your tongue than your birth name does. “I’m John Egbert, and my dad will be okay with me being John Egbert, his son.”

“John!” Your dad calls. “I have to go to work today, sweetheart!”

“Sorry, Dad! I’m coming! For real this time!” You jump back from your mirror and grab your already-packed backpack. It was the best backpack you’d ever had. You got it at Hot Topic, and it was designed to look like a Hylian shield. You’d fallen in love with it the moment you saw it.

But that’s irrelevant. You grab it, and run downstairs. “Sorry about that, Dad,” you apologise, with a sheepish smile. “I just spaced out, I guess.”

“Nervous for the first day?” He guesses.

You nod. It isn’t a lie, not really. It isn’t the whole truth, either, but it is true.

He smiles. “I’m so proud of you, dear.” Oh god, is he crying? He’s tearing up. Jeez, that’s embarrassing. “My little girl’s growing up so fast!”

 

John: tell him. ====>

 

Not yet. You’re still not ready.

 

John: fine. Hurry this up, though. ====>

 

Fine, fine.

“So, let’s go.”

Lucky you, your dad listens and opens the door, walking with you to the car.

 

John: get to the coming out part already. ====>

 

If you were aware of the possibility that an abstract audience could just skip past that long, awkward car ride with nothing but quiet classical music to break the silence, and the small talk with your coffees that you had to endure before you could even get to the subject of your gender, you’d be really jealous.

After all, if you yourself could’ve skipped past all that, you would’ve.

 

John: yeah yeah, whatever. Dance, monkey, dance! Er… Wherein dancing is coming out. ====>

 

...What?

 

John: COME OUT ALREADY! ====>

 

Okay, fine, sheesh.

You clear your throat. “Um… Dad?”

“Yes, dear?”

“I’m...trans.”

 

 


	2. First Day of School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled in which Dad is the master of dad jokes, John makes friends on the first day of school, and Dave really is the only kid at school who thinks he's cool.

“I’m...trans.”

John: be yourself. ====>

Your name is John Egbert. You just came out to your dad. At first, he looked shocked, but now he’s smiling at you deviously. Dad, no. Everyone knows what you’re thinking. Don’t do it.

“Hi, Trans, I’m Dad.” Oh my god.

“Dad,” you groan, “I’m serious!”

“No, you’re trans.”

“Dad!”

He chuckles. “Okay, okay, I’ll be serious. The joking is done with.”

“Thank you.” you tilt your head at him as he sips his coffee. “So?” He puts his cup down and smiles. “I’m not really surprised. You never were the girly type. Not that that matters. But, the point is, I’m proud of you...son.”

You can’t help but grin at that. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome, John. You do have to understand, though, I won’t be able to make the switch right away. Just like calling you John instead of Jane.”

“I don’t care; I’m just glad you accept me.”

You stand up and hug him tightly. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you, too, John.”

John: be Dave. ====>

You are now the cool kid.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are at lunch. You have your own table, which you insist is because you’re a cool kid who couldn’t possibly be associated with anyone else. Yup. That’s why.

It is now 12:34 pm, roughly 3 hours since John left to talk to his dad and go to school. In his time it’s 10:34 am, you think briefly, sipping your apple juice. You love this drink. It’s the shit.

Anyways, John’s at school and you have no one to talk to, so you’re pestering two of your other internet friends, one of whom is your cousin. Specifically, you’re focusing on your conversation with your cousin. Your other friend probably fell asleep. She’s homeschooled, lucky her, and her grandpa isn’t the strictest on when she can and can’t sleep.

Dave: talk to your cousin. ====>

Calm down. You’re already doing that. You have quite the log by now.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 12:20 pm --

TG: dude

TG: are you out of school yet

TT: I believe I have already told you I’m not in school until next Tuesday.

TT: You know - after Labor Day?

TG: oh right

TG: i knew that

TT: You forgot and you know it.

TG: a valid point

TG: but have you considered

TG: shut up

TT: Haha.

TT: So, anything specific you want to tell me about?

TG: nope

TG: believe it or not i havent come for your psychoanalysis

TT: Disappointing, indeed.

TG: i know

TG: everyone wants to get in the cool kids head

TG: especially you

TG: but nope

TG: i just came to talk

TG: bored as fuck

TT: Shouldn’t you be in class?

TG: lunch

TT: And you don’t have enough friends to occupy your time? I thought you were a cool kid.

TG: first of all shut up

TG: second of all you know damn well why i dont have friends besides on the internet

TG: too cool remember?

TT: Indeed.

You were about to tell her to shut up again, but your content chatting was interrupted.

“Hey, tranny.”

Damnit.

Dave: be your cousin. ====>

You are now Dave’s cousin. You’re sitting in your room, staring at your computer.

Enter name. ====>

ANTISOCIAL WITCH

Don’t be rude.

Try again. ====>

ROSE LALONDE

That’s better.

Your name is ROSE LALONDE. It has been established that you are SITTING IN YOUR ROOM, STARING AT YOUR COMPUTER. Specifically, at the chat with your cousin.

TG: too cool remember?

TT: Indeed.

TT: David?

TT: Are you still there?

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 1:39 pm --

To say this was worrying would be an understatement. You know Dave had been bullied harshly in middle school. He’s going to a different high school than the “destination school” in his district, to escape all his middle school bullies. Within the first week, however, he found he had bad luck. His former best friend is also attending that high school. Not what he wanted or needed in order to avoid being bullied.

Rose: consult an adult. ====>

You are in no position to do that.

Rose: you have to do something! ====>

As worried as you are about your cousin, you can’t do anything about his disappearance. All you can do is hope he’ll be alright.

Rose: be John? ====>

Alright.

Your name is John Egbert, and this isn’t as hard as you thought. You never really had a lot of friends in elementary or middle school, just people with whom you were on a first-name basis.

You and your dad left the Starbucks earlier than planned this morning so you could talk to the school counselor and your teachers. While they had to put your legal name on the attendance rossetter, all of your teachers agreed to call you John and use your preferred pronouns. So, no one really called you “Jane,” or “she.”

Currently, you were at lunch. You hadn’t made any friends, not yet, but you met a few kids who weren’t that bad, so you were sitting with a few of them.

One of them was a short, pale kid, with ginger hair that looked like he had dyed it, and blood-red eyes that you swear aren’t natural; I mean, how could they be? They’re red! He has to be wearing coloured contacts. He’s wearing an oversized black turtleneck with a grey Cancer symbol on the front, and a pair of black skinny jeans. His name is Karkat Vantas. He’s kind of a big grump. Like the stereotypical grumpy old man across the street forced into the body of a short, snarky 14-year-old who yells a lot. But you could tell deep down he wasn’t that bad, since he had noticed you were alone and nervous and started talking to you in a somewhat friendly manner.

To his left (your right) is the second kid to talk to you. She has shoulder-length red hair, and seeing her next to Karkat is what made you realise his hair must have been dyed. Like Karkat, she has red eyes, but she had told you they were contacts, explaining she wears them so her real eyes--which are milky white, because she’s blind--won’t distract people. You don’t really get that, since first of all she wears red shades that would hide her eyes perfectly well if she didn’t let them slip over her nose like that, and second of all red eyes aren’t something you see every day either. But she’s weird like that, so whatever. Her name is Terezi Pyrope. She’s always smiling--in fact, it kind of creeps you out. She loves dragons, and told you she wants to be a prosecution attorney when she grows up, but only if she can’t find a job involving dragons. (Really, what??) She is currently wearing a black shirt with a teal Libra symbol on the front, and a pair of baggy grey jeans.

On Karkat’s other side (his right, your left) is his best friend. You can tell they’re best friends because Karkat calls him a stupid clown all the time and he doesn't mind; in fact, he would often respond by calling Karkat his “best motherfuckin’ friend.” You’re fairly sure he’s stoned, and that much makeup should be considered against dress code. He’s six feet tall, you swear; honestly, the fact makes you kind of jealous. You’re barely taller than Karkat, and Karkat’s a midget, really. Anyways, this giant is wearing a black t-shirt with a dark purple Capricorn symbol on it, and a pair of polka-dotted soft pants that don’t look like they should pass dress code any more than his makeup. His name is Gamzee Makara, and his eyes are that one shade of blue that looks purple in most lighting. He has dirty blond, messy hair that makes yours look neat in comparison, and he decided to call you “windybro,” though you have no clue why.

The last kid is sitting on Terezi’s left (your right). He speaks with a lisp, and had approached you in the hallway on the way to lunch so he could fangasm over your backpack. His eyes had startled you at first, because one’s the same blue that your own two are, but the other is bright green, like your cousin Jade’s. He’s the only one who wears normal glasses like you, though the frames are pretty...unique. One side is red, the other is blue. Like reverse 3D glasses or something. He had informed you earlier that red and blue are his two favourite colours. He’s wearing a black shirt with a bright yellow Gemini symbol on it (you wonder if they were matching on purpose and how many of them there are if so), and a pair of blue jeans. Also, his shoes are mismatched. One’s black, and the other is white. You wonder if that’s on purpose and if he always does that. His name is Sollux Captor.

Anyways--

“John!”

John: what???? ====>

Oh. Karkat’s talking to you. You say something really intelligent, like, “Huh?”

He rolls his eyes. “Airhead. I said, it’s fucking freezing. Then these dickwads turned it into an argument. Am I to expect you not to throw in your two cents in trivial matters like this from now on?”

“Oh. Well, it’s actually not cold. Like, at all? ‘Cause it’s only September? Jeez, Karkat, where are you even from?”

“C-California,” he shudders. “Beverly fucking Hills… Okay, I’m actually from this tiny town called Buena Park. It’s in Orange County.” He waits, but you don’t recognise that name; in fact, no one at the table does. Well, maybe Gamzee, but he doesn’t seem to be paying attention. Karkat sighs. “Y’know… Knott’s Berry Farm?”

“What’th that? Why the fuck would we know thome berry farm, KK?”

“It’s a fucking theme park, you uninformed douchebag. America’s first theme park, to be motherfucking exact. Anyways, since none of you complete grubshitting losers--”

“Hehe, what does grubshitting even mean? That’s so weird.”

“You shut up, Egbert. You’re the biggest loser of all of us.”

“Whatever you say, Karkat.”

“As I was saying, since you losers don’t know about my hometown, for lack of a more famous place nearby, I’m from fucking Disneyland.”

That makes Gamzee burst into laughter.

“What the hell are you laughing about?”

“You’re a Disney princess, Karbro!”

“Oh my god. You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Yeah,” Sollux pipes up, “KK’th too much of a grump to be a printheth. He’th a villain, no doubt. An evil queen or thtepmother. Maybe Thcar from The Lion King.”

“Ex-motherfucking-SCUSE you! For your information, I am fucking perfect as a princess. Motherfucking Cinderella all up in here. Just waiting for my goddamned fairy godmother.”

“Too easily offended to be Scar,” Terezi muses.

“My bad,” Sollux says.

“Stinky Pete - the Prospector, from Toy Story?” You offer.

“Nah. KK’th too girly.”

“I HEARD THAT!”

By now you’re giggling your ass off. These kids are just as dorky as your online friends.

“Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove?” Gamzee asks.

“Nah. Hades, from Hercules,” Terezi says. “He has enough of a temper.”

“FUCK. OFF.”

“Karkaaaat, your hair’s out,” you tease. He just glares at you.

Before you have the chance to tease him more, your phone vibrates. You’re allowed to have it on and use it during lunch and break, so you pull it out to check it.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:41 pm --

TG: dude

TG: please talk to me its really important

EB: dave, i’m at school!

EB: this better be REALLY important.

TG: it is

TG: i hate to admit it but i got beaten to a pulp at lunch today

EB: oh my GOD. are you okay? how bad is it?

TG: pretty damn bad

TG: do you think id be texting you while youre at school if it wasnt hell for me r/n

EB: valid point.

EB: given, i AM at lunch, but you couldn’t know that.

EB: anyway are you going to be okay? who did it? how did your bro react?

It is then that your attention is brought back to the others.

“Wow, Egbert. Ignoring us and playing on your phone? Rude.”

“Karkat, my best friend got beaten into the ground by some jerks like 2 hours ago.”

“Oh. Oh my god. I’m sorry.”

“Ith he okay?”

“Jeez, what happened?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out; just gimme a sec.”

TG: ill be fine, i just need a couple days to heal

TG: i have a couple broken ribs and shit

TG: so im getting out of school until im fully healed

TG: assholes that did it got suspended

TG: they wouldve gotten worse if it wasnt me but what-fucking-ever

EB: wait, why?

TG: no fucking reason, except that the school system sucks - especially in texas

TG: fuckin texan pride bro

EB: jeez. :(

TG: so besides the school system sucking ass, bro decided were moving

EB: really? where? going to new york to live with the lalondes?

TG: actually were going to washington

EB: really?!

TG: yep

TG: and unless you were lying when you gave me your address, or somethings wrong with google maps, im moving into the apartment complex down the street

EB: oh my god.

EB: that’s amazing. like, too good to be true!

TG: i know right

TG: how awesome is it to find out your gay crush is moving in down the street?

EB: wow shut up.

EB: still not gay.

TG: yeah yeah w/e

TG: if you say so

EB: maybe it isn’t all that great, after all.

TG: rude

TG: youre breakin my poor little heart, egbutt

EB: oh no!

EB: my bad.

EB: but oh well i guess.

TG: damnit, john

EB: :B

EB: well, i should leave you to the healing process and continue bonding with my new weirdo friends.

EB: they’re big dorks like you, hehe.

TG: wow you better not be replacing me

TG: and right before im moving in too

EB: oh shut up i would never replace you.

EB: seriously though, go get some sleep.

TG: yes mom

TG: later bro

EB: bye!

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:05 pm --

John: be Dave. ====>

Your name is David Elizabeth Strider, and you just woke up from a much-needed nap. You need more sleep, though, so now you’re just grumpy and sore.

“What year is it,” you grumble, pulling the covers back over your head.

“2015,” your bro snarks, pulling the covers back off of you. “Congratulations, lil man, you’ve slept through yer nineteenth birthday. You’ll be twenty in December.”

“You know what I meant, Bro,” you hiss. He laughs at you. God, you hate when he laughs at you.

“Fine, lil man. Y’ve been sleepin’ fer 3 hours.”

“Holy shit.”

He’s laughing again. Goddamnit. But he stops after a second. “Y’are okay, right?”

“Not really. I’ll get better, but for now I sure ain’t gettin’ up.”

“Sure thing, lil bro. Just make sure you can git up within the next week, or yer ass ain’t goin’a Washin’ton.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You roll over, and for once, he leaves you be. Thank god.

 


	3. Washington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled in which Dave arrives and Karkat has a crush.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you have no idea what your friend is going on about. You’re too distracted. Distracted by the way his buck teeth dig into his bottom lip after he makes a somewhat worried comment, the way his eyes are an even prettier colour than Gamzee’s, by-

No.

You refuse to have a crush on him. He’s as annoying as Gamzee, in his own special way, and having a crush on Gamzee just led you to the friendzone. Gamzee now has a cripple for a boyfriend, and while they go together like peanut butter and jelly, you must admit you were jealous at first. You’ve since gotten over it.

Anyways, you know this kid would do to you exactly what Gamzee did if you let yourself have a crush on him. You could not-

“Karkat? Are you listening?”

 

Karkat: oh shit. ====>

 

“...Huh?”

“... And you call me spacey! What was the last thing you heard me say?”

“Something about getting out early.”

“Oh, jeez, you haven’t been listening since I started talking! I don’t remember you being this easily distracted…” God, you can practically see the wheels in his head turning. And he might as well have a cartoonish lightbulb going on over his head with how expressive his face is. It’s really cu- “I bet you like someone,” he says in the most childish, singsongy way possible.

If you had a drink, you would’ve done a spittake. But you don’t, so you let out a surprised wheeze. You can feel your face getting hot.

“That’s none of your business!” You cough out without thinking, and a little more defensively than you meant to.

“So you do like someone!”

 

Karkat: fuck. ====>

 

“What are you, five? It’s not your business,” you insist. “And you would tell, blabbermouth. So even if there was something to tell-which there isn’t-and even if it wasn’t nosey as all hell of you to ask, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Awww, Karkaat…”

“Nope.”

 

Karkat: stand your ground. ====>

 

It’s hard, with those puppy eyes, but you say no until finally, finally, he says, “Okay…”

He gives you one, last, extra-strong puppy face, and you have to put all your focus into staring him down.

Finally, he gives up.

“... So, why are you leaving early?”

 

Karkat: be future John. ====>

 

Whatever.

Your name is John Egbert, and you are very excited. It is Wednesday, 8 September, 2010, and your dad is letting you out early to hang out with your best friend, Dave, whose plane should be landing in half an hour.

That said, you and your dad are now leaving your school, on the way to the airport. Dave’s plane must have wifi, because your phone vibrates.

 

John: answer him! ====>

 

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 1:02 pm--

TG: dude

TG: dude john how do i know which ones you

TG: youre meeting me at the airport right

EB: i made a sign. :)

TG: wow dude

TG: you sure you dont have a crush on me?

EB: shut up dave.

EB: straight as a ruler, as always.

TG: pff, maybe one of those bendy rulers we had in elementary school

EB: you can shut up now, sir.

TG: its true though

EB: w/e.

EB: still straighter than you, anyways.

TG: pfft

TG: sure

TG: w/e you say dude

TG: youre like ridiculously gay

TG: i mean you play the fuckin grand piano for gods sakes

EB: musical talent is a completely straight thing.

EB: well, i guess it is also present in some gay people, but my point is, just because i play piano doesn’t make me gay.

TG: i have to agree that music is not a gay hobby

TG: but playing the piano is

EB: wow.

EB: rude.

TG: oh god youre copying me arent you

TG: dont mock me

TG: hoe dont do it

EB: i thought we had something.

TG: oh my god

EB: :B

TG: oh shit man were landing in a few minutes

TG: gotta go

EB: bye dave!

EB: see you in a few minutes!

\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 1:31 pm--

 

You’re at the airport. This is it. You grab your sign and follow your dad inside.

 

John: be Dave. ====>

 

Done.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are setting foot in Washington state for the first time ever.

Your ribs are still bruised, so you shouldn’t bind. Not that that’s stopping you.

The bright blue sign sticks out like a sore thumb. ‘welcome to washington, dave!’ it reads. The boy holding it up is John, for sure. You’ve sent each other selfies, but you haven’t seen one in forever. You didn’t expect to recognise him that fast. Must be the dorky glasses.

He, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to see you yet. Oh boy.

“John!” You call in the manliest voice you can muster.

He turns around, looking confused. “Dave?”

Oh, come on. You and Bro are the only blondes in this entire room! “John!” You repeat, and you swear when you run at each other you can hear music.

You try to ignore the pain in your chest as you and your best friend slam together, but then he’s squeezing you and-”AW FUCK, John, too tight, too tight!”

He lets you go immediately. “Oh my god, Dave, I’m sorry! Are you okay?!”

You wheeze and catch your breath, then give him a thumbs-up, and a breathy “J-Just don’t squeeze me that tight until the b-bruises heal.”

“Okay… Sorry. Again.”

“It’s chill.”

“... Wow, your accent.”

“Wow, yer accent.”

 

Dave: kiss the boy. ====>

 

Tempting. But he’s straight, remember? Besides, you’re too tired. You can’t think straight (haha, ‘cause you aren’t straight?), and now you’re leaning on him. “I’m so tired. What time is it?”

“Um… 1:45-ish.”

“I need to get somewhere with a bed.”

 

John: carry Dave out of there. ====>

 

It’s not really your choice. Dave just sort of collapses on you and starts snoring. Lucky for you, he weighs probably less than you do, so you make it to the car (with his bro and your dad following and rolling the suitcases behind them) without dropping him.

 

John: be future John. ====>

 

You, John Egbert, have just arrived at Dave’s new home.

 

John: wake Dave up. ====>

 

Easier said than done.

 

John: fine. Wait for help. ====>

 

You sit there helplessly with Dave’s head in your lap.

“Hey, lil Egbert? Can my bro spend the night at yer place? Yer dad’s cool with it ‘n we don’ have any furniture so it’d be way more comfortable fer him. Y’all’d be doin’ us a huge favour.”

“I’d love for him to spend the night!” You exclaim.

“Thanks. See ya tomorrow or the day after. Or… Sometime over the weekend. Maybe Monday…” He trails off.

“Bye!”

 

John: be future Dave. ====>

 

Okay.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you have no idea where you are or what year it is. You have a feeling you’ll wake up feeling like that a lot while you’re still injured. Even worse, you can barely breathe.

“Bro?” You call, gasping.

Instead of Bro’s sneering, teasing face popping in the doorway, a certain dork you happen to know is smiling at you.

“Hi, Dave! Um. Your Bro said for you to stay here for either tonight or a couple nights, at most until Monday, so… Make yourself comfortable!” God, can he be more adorably awkward? “Um… Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you shrug. “Better now that I know where I am. How long have I been out?”

“About an hour and a half.”

“Sweet, I guess. Can I have like fifteen minutes to myself?”

“Sure! Then we can go, um… Watch a movie or something!”

“Sounds awesome. Thanks."

 


	4. Rainstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled in which Karkat's feelings are described in greater details and John and Dave are dorks who can't study together because they keep talking. (Mainly a filler.)

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and what the everloving fuck does this new kid think he’s doing?

That’s basically how you demanded an explanation from John when he started hanging out with this poser the moment he showed up, like they’d known each other forever.

Apparently, they have. This is the best friend who got beaten up and moved here to escape the bullies. You feel sorry for him, of course, but you’re also pretty jealous. Given, he didn’t have any friends in Texas, so moving didn’t force him to leave any friends behind like it did for you. You do have all your old friends’ Chumhandles, but, still.

And he’s getting almost all of John’s attention.

When it comes right down to it, that’s probably what irritates you most. If you were honest with yourself, you’d admit that his snarky way of talking, his stupid haircut, those obnoxious shades, and the way he seems to take joy in annoying the hell out of you… Those things just make it easier to hate him. If you’re honest, the real reason you hate him is because John no longer pays more attention to you than he does to all of your other friends, and it’s because of that Strider. You don’t feel important anymore and you hate it. What will you do?

 

Karkat: complain to John about his jerk friend. ====>

 

You’ve already done that twice this week, and John’s starting to get annoyed at you, so that’s a bad idea.

 

Karkat: vent to Gamzee? ====>

 

That’s what you’re doing? Didn’t you mention that? Well, not your fault this Strider kid’s bugging you so badly you can’t think straight.

 

Karkat: be your best friend. ====>

 

You are now Karkat’s best friend, and you are sitting on your couch, eating a bag of cookies, while your best bro rants on and on about windybro’s best bro. You don’t like the guy either, but Karbro’s going a bit far: ranting and rambling even more than usual, to the point where, honestly, he might as well be foaming at the mouth.

 

Enter name. ====>

 

STONED CLOWN

 

Aw, shit, bro. That’s cold. You ain’t even stoned right now.

 

Try again. ====>

 

GAMZEE MAKARA

 

Your name is Gamzee Makara and jesus, Karbro really hates this new kid, Strider.

“So, bro, lemme get this straight,” you interrupt his particularly heated ramble about “how does John even like this kid all he does is tease him and call him gay,” to ask, “you dislike this new kid so much, because you like John, but he likes the other guy?”

He opens his mouth to agree before even processing the words that just left yours, but only gets out half a yes before pausing. “What do you mean, I ‘like’ him?” he asks.

“Well, you got a pretty obvious crush on him.”

“I do NOT!” He crosses his arms at you and mutters something about you being an idiot. Honestly, he might as well have just admitted his feelings, but you don’t press the matter.

 

Gamzee: be John. ====>

 

Your name is John Egbert and who knew talking for so long was even possible?

You and Dave are supposed to be studying, but how can you focus on studying when you have your best friend next to you?

Exactly; you can’t.

It is Monday, 20 September, 2010, and you are currently listening to Dave ramble about the thunderstorm outside.

“I mean, seriously, bro, how come you never told me how fucking cold it is over here? I woulda been sending you canned soup and hot cocoa packets every year.”

“I appreciate the thought but this really isn’t cold, it’s just a storm.”

“A cold as fuck storm.”

“Whatever.”

"That’s it, Washingtonians are all cold-resistant devil children.”

“Dave, you’re being more melodramatic about the temperature than Karkat and he’s from Southern California.”

“I’m from Satan’s asshole, John, Californians don’t know shit.”

“... I thought it was-”

“Satan’s armpit. Whatever. I’m too cold to think straight.”

You roll your eyes. “More like too gay to think straight.”

“Wow, rude. I-”

“Thought we had something?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” You’re teasing, of course, and from his reaction, he obviously knows it.

He clutches a hand over his heart in as dramatic of an expression as possible. “Why y’gotta go breakin’ my heart?”

You shove his shoulder, grinning. “Dork. Anyways, you want some hot chocolate-”

“Yes. Please. I’m going to freeze.”

“Okay, okay, chill.”

You can hear him call out that chilling is the exact opposite of what he wants to do right now as you trek downstairs and make some hot chocolate.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, lame ending-
> 
> This is mostly just here because I needed some sense of characterisation, though, so I guess that's okay
> 
> Next chapter should be out by tomorrow or the day after


	5. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled in which John's entire group of friends goes trick-or-treating together and Karkat really hates Dave.

Your name is John Egbert, and, wow, you really hate this shit.

 

John: elaborate. ====>

 

Ugh, do you have to? You really want to just forget about it.

 

John: vent internally. ====>

 

You’ve been going to a therapist who specialises in gender identity and adolescents for about 3 weeks now. You hate it. You have to go through with it so you can get diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which is the only way you’ll get prescription hormones, and non-prescription ones are really dangerous, and if you’re on T-shots for a year, your insurance will cover top surgery, and...well, you get the idea. But if you could just not go to therapy, you wouldn’t.

Originally, you thought therapy would be a good thing. Someone to vent your feelings to, to talk about your identity, plus, your ticket to a cheaper, safer transition. But your therapist is an absolute lunatic. You don’t know how she even got that job! She treats you like there’s something wrong with you!

Ugh.

 

John: sounds heavy. Tell Dave about it. ====>

 

No. No, no no.

You and Dave are studying. You have to get this homework done today, or else you’ll have to do it tomorrow, and who does homework on good old All Hallows’ Eve? People who want ghouls to eat them, that’s who. Besides, he doesn’t know, and you’re not ready to tell him; you might never be, so.

 

John: chill. ====>

 

You can’t chill. You have no chill. Chill doesn’t exi-

“Dude, are you okay?”

You look up from your geometry and blink twice, mentally disorientated by the sudden question pulling you out of your thoughts. “Huh?” You suddenly process the question, and quickly add, “I’m fine. Why would you think I’m not fine?”

Dave obviously isn’t buying it. “Maybe because you’ve been mutterin’ incoherent ramblin’s for the past five minutes or so?”

 

John: be Dave. ====>

 

Your name is Dave Strider, and you’re pretty damn sure your best friend hasn’t been listening to you explain how you did the last problem. He was the one who asked for your help in the first place.

“... Sorry. I’m just thinking.”

“‘Bout what?”

He hesitates. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” he says, after a few minutes of silence.

You take a deep breath. On the one hand, John seemed pretty distressed over there. But on the other hand, you’re John’s best friend, and because of that, along with his talkative nature, he tells you everything. If he doesn’t want to tell you about it, it’s probably something very serious and unbelievably personal. With that in mind, you decide not to pry.

“Alright, dude, but I’m here for ya, okay?”

“It’s fine. Really.” The look on his face tells you it is most certainly not fine, but you resist the urge to tell him that.

Instead, you just nod and say, “If you say so.” You pause a little, before adding, “But you can talk to me, y’know. It’s chill.”

“I know.” He smiles a little, then adds, as if for extra emphasis, “I’m fine, okay? Really.”

“Okay, okay. Now, let’s do this damn math.”

 

Dave: be future John. ====>

 

Your name is John Egbert, and you are currently having a nerdgasm.

It is Sunday, 31 October, 2010, and Dave is complaining about your Halloween costumes.

“Next year, I get to choose,” he huffs, crossing his arms. You’re both wearing Ghostbusters costumes, because you insisted on matching.

“Tch, whatever. What would you even choose?”

“I dunno, man. Somethin’ less embarrassin’ than this shit.”

“Whatever, Dave.” You roll your eyes at him.

“I can’t even believe you want to go trick-or-treating. I mean, we’re both turning 15 soon. Aren’t we getting too o-”

“You’re never too old for free candy. Besides, you’re the one who’s been popping bubble wrap and jumping into boxes of packing peanuts for the past month.”

“No one outgrows bubble wrap, Eghead.”

“If you say so. Come on, let’s go.” He huffs at you again. “Dude, my friends are waiting for us.”

It takes you five minutes to get him to leave the house in his costume, and even then he only agrees to go outside once you convince him it’d be ironic. He’s still complaining about how nerdy you both look when you get to Karkat’s house, which happens to be across the street from yours, and where everyone else is waiting in the yard.

 

John: be Karkat. ====>

 

Your name is Karkat Vantas and, wow, you didn’t know Strider was as much of a nerd as John is.

You’re currently dressed up as Westley, the Man in Black, from The Princess Bride. You tried to get your friends to dress up as other characters like Miracle Max, Inigo Montoya, Fezzik, and so on, but no one did. Terezi is dressed as a dragon, Sollux dressed up as Link from the Legend of Zelda franchise, and Gamzee is wearing the same outfit he did on the first day of school, which is stupid enough to be a costume on its own.

Gamzee also brought his boyfriend, Tavros, who’s dressed up as Peter Pan. He even has a tiny Tinker Bell doll on his shoulder. Personally, you pity him, because even with as much effort as he put into it, his costume looks stupid, and it’s not even his fault. It’s just that how is Peter Pan supposed to fly in a wheelchair? However, you haven’t commented on it and that’s not about to change.

Anyways, you’re now just staring at John and his friend, mostly because you’d never have expected that asshole to let himself be made to wear that in public.

“Wow, Karkat, I like your ninja costume!” John pipes up obliviously, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“It’s not a ninja costume, it-”

“Sure looks like a ninja costume t’me.”

You glare darkly at the blond one. “Nobody asked you,” you growl through gritted teeth. You huff and cross your arms, before readdressing the matter of what you’re going as. “For your information, I am a character from a classic movie. Not that I would’ve expected either of you two to have heard of it. I’m Westley from the Princess Bride.”

Dave doesn’t seem to recognise that, but you have the satisfaction of seeing the automatic recognition in John’s eyes, though he seems pleasantly surprised that you’ve even heard of it. He immediately starts rambling about how he loves that movie, and how it’s got so much awesome fighting and stuff, but didn’t expect you to have heard of it, and so on. You nod along to what he says, though you don’t really like it for the action so much as for the romance and the humour.

Right after John finishes a sentence, Dave interrupts by saying, “Sounds nerdy,” and flashing what is probably a teasing grin at John, who doesn’t seem offended at all.

For some reason, the comment just enrages you, but you stop yourself from saying anything because of the way that John goes along with it.

“Um, sorry to interrupt anything, but are we going trick-or-treating, or…?”

Everyone turns to Tavros, obviously startled because of how quiet he had been being, before there’s a sort of universal mutter of agreement and you’re off, before you know it.

As you’re approaching the first house, you trip over a rock, only barely catching yourself. It stands out to you that Strider laughs a little before joining the rest of your group in asking if you’re okay, and you nod to everyone, mentally noting that this is going to be a long night.

 

Karkat: be future Karkat. ====>

 

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and jesus FUCK are you glad to be home.

Currently, it is 11:30 at night. You just got back from trick-or-treating, as in, you are, at the moment, slamming open the door and stomping straight through, off to your room. You absentmindedly throw some of the loser candy at your brother and your dad to keep them from talking to you.

As soon as you get in your room, you throw your pillowcase of candy onto the chair next to your desk, grab your laptop, and use all your self-control to toss the precious electronic gently onto your bed instead of hurling it down like you want to break it. You strip off your now-uncomfortable costume, then change into your pyjamas.

Once you’re done and slightly more relaxed, you climb onto your bed, open up and turn on your laptop, and pester your best friend from back in So Cal.

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 11:39 pm --

CG: UGH

CA: hey kar.

CA: wwhat’s wwrong?

CG: TRICK-OR-TREATING

CA: i thought you liked trick-or-treatin, though.

CA: i mean you alwwavves looked forwward to it.

CA: on an annual basis.

CA: don’t tell me wwashinton’s ruinin evveryfin for you, evven hallowween.

CG: IT’S THIS STRIDER KID

CG: THIS YEAR WAS GREAT, JUST LIKE THE END OF LAST YEAR, UNTIL HE SHOWED UP.

CA: oh boy, here wwe go again…

CG: HEY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM. BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT.

CA: you’vve been complainin about him for the past month, kar. i don’t mean to offend you but honestly i wwould prefer havvin to deal wwith this kid to havvin to listen to you complain all the time.

CA: i havve to go. get some sleep, tomorroww’s monday.

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:58 pm --

 

Great. Now he’s pissed at you, too. You wish you could go back in time and kick yourself for complaining so much before you started to, but you can’t, so you just mentally kick yourself for doing it.

 

Karkat: be John. ====>

 

Your name is John Egbert, and you are currently walking Dave home, accompanied by your dad, because no friend of yours is walking alone down the street at this hour.

“So, John...wanna spend the night?”

You stiffen. It’s not that you don’t want to spend the night-you do. Of course you do, it’s something you’ve wanted to do ever since you were introduced to Dave! But if you do, you have to either sleep in your binder, or risk Dave not being friends with you anymore because you’re trans. It’d basically force you to come out. “Uh...I, I don’t know..I mean, um…” You have to think fast, so you blurt out the first excuse that you can think of that’ll make sense without making you suspicious. “I’d love to, but, um, your brother scares me.” Wow, you wish you’d thought of a better excuse. That one sounds wimpy. You can feel your face heating up.

Lucky you, he just shrugs. “Eh, I don’t blame you. It’s chill.” He pauses awkwardly, letting a heavy silence fill the air, before he adds, “... In that case, can I spend the night? Bro went to a party and I don’t wanna be alone ‘round him when he gets home, ‘cause he’ll be drunk fer sure.”

You cringe slightly at the fact that he’s insistently faking his accent as a response to it starting to fade. Texans.

“Well...I guess?” You turn to Dad. He nods, then you turn back to Dave. “Sure! But you have to sleep in the guest room again!”

“Sure, dude.”

He moves to turn around immediately, but you grab his arm. “Dave, aren’t you going to need clean clothes?”

He looks like that thought didn’t even occur to him, and nods. “Oh yeah, huh?”

You notice he’s starting to shiver and roll your eyes slightly. “I don’t mean to say I told you so, but I told you to bring a jacket,” you mutter.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I can handle it.”

“Okay, but you better get a jacket when we get to your house.”

“Fine,” he says, drawing the word out as long as he can in his exasperation.

“I’m not gonna let you catch a cold.”

“Whatever, Mom,” he says dryly.

You fall into a somewhat comfortable silence, broken only by the chattering of Dave’s teeth and the occasional mumble from you about how he really should’ve brought a jacket like you said, for the rest of the walk to Dave’s apartment. Upon your arrival, it appears Dave’s brother is absent, which makes Dave much more comfortable. You’ve barely been around his brother when he’s sober and he really is intimidating; you can’t imagine what he must be like when he’s drunk.

Dave only takes about seven minutes to pack all the stuff he’ll need to stay the night, then shows up by the door in a red hoodie with a lighter red gear symbol printed on the chest, complete with matching sweatpants.

You smile at him, then the three of you leave to go back to your house.

 

 


	6. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled in which John and Dave find out about each other and have a touching moment AND there's FINALLY some romantic undertones for once.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you have literally the nicest best friend on the planet, holy shit.

It is 12:45 am, technically Monday, 1 November, 2010, and you can’t sleep. You’re lying in John’s guest bedroom, on the comfiest bed ever, you’re not binding, you’re in your softest pj’s, bundled in a pile of blankets at the perfect temperature, and you’re too busy thinking about John and how nice he is to even enjoy the sleeping experience at its best. You sit up and stretch, then stand up. You grab one of the blankets from the bed, shivering already at how cold it is, and start downstairs to the kitchen in search of some chamomile tea or...something.

Dave: be John. ====>

Your name is John Egbert and what the fuck was that noise? It’s starting to freak you out.

John: do the smart thing. ====>

You grab the hammer you have in your magic chest, and then head downstairs.

Once you reach the kitchen, it occurs to you that the smart thing was probably waking your dad up and having him go downstairs with you, but it’s too late. There is the silhouette of someone who looks...strikingly similar to Dave. The silhouette is rummaging through your pantry. For a second, you think it is dave, before noticing the distinct female qualities Dave lacks-or, to put it bluntly, boobs. You raise your hammer slightly, flick the lights on, and-

John: be Dave. ====>

Your name is Dave Strider and holy shit, it’s bright as fuck in here all of a sudden. You grab your shades (which you had hung on the collar of your shirt, just in case), and put them on, fast as lightning, which helps your eyes adjust.

Now that you can see, you realise that John is standing in front of you. “I was getting tea,” you blurt out, before realising that you’re not binding. After a few more seconds, you notice something different about his figure. It takes you an entire ten seconds to figure it out, and when you do, your first thought is ‘At least I know he’s not transphobic now…’

“...Dave?”

“John?”

Dave: be future John. ====>

Your name is John Egbert, and, wow, you would never have guessed Dave was trans, too!

Currently, you are making a pot of chamomile tea for the two of you to share and cure yourselves of your restlessness. Your hammer is on the counter (Dave freaked out when he noticed it), and Dave is bundled in even more blankets than before. After you came down, it started raining, so you closed the window, but Dave said that doesn’t help, and got all those blankets.

“So, Dave,” you start awkwardly. “Is… I mean, I don’t mean to pry, but, um-”

“Yes, John, this is why I got beaten to a pulp, this is why the school didn’t do shit, and this is why I had to move. Have I answered all your questions?” Oh god, he sounds pissed. Those weren’t even your questions… He must realise how suddenly he blurted all of that out, ‘cause he sighs, rests his head in one of his hands, and says, “Sorry. I just… I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want anyone here to know… I still don’t.”

“Dave…” You start, softly. “It’s okay. I don’t care. I’m trans, too… In case you haven’t noticed,” you add. It makes him laugh a little, which definitely makes both of you feel a little better. “I was just curious if that was why you were so insecure about being cool, and all.” You can tell he’s going to go into some self-deprecating rant about how he assumed you were going to touch on a more sensitive topic and lashed out and you just go, “Don’t,” and hug him tightly-like, really really tightly, and after a second he wraps the blankets around you both and hugs back just as tightly, if not more so, as you’re hugging him.

“Thanks, dude. You really are the best bro I could ask for.” He pauses for a second, and then, as if he’d decided that was a little too sincere, he adds, “Nerd.”

“Whatever,” you laugh, breaking from his grip to go pour the tea. You hand him a cup and show him where the honey is before pouring your cup. You swear he empties a good ⅛ of the bottle of honey before handing it to you, and that’s an industrial-size bottle.

You sweeten your tea and put the honey away. “You hungry?”

“Kinda. What do you have?”

You open up the fridge and sigh. “Like, twenty different cakes. Mostly chocolate and vanilla.”

“Sweet!”

“Dave, you can’t have cake, it’s going to keep you up,” you tell him, your eyes searching the fridge absently for something besides the baked goods your dad makes on a daily basis. Cake, cake, cake, cookies, brownies, cake, cake, cake, cake- “Ooooh, we have some leftover spaghetti.” You pull the noodle-filled tupperware out, grabbing the other one with the sauce in it.

“Can I have cake?”

“Dave. It’s one in the morning.”

“So?”

“You aren’t having cake, you lunatic.” You pull out a pair of plates from the cabinet. “Do you want some spaghetti or not?”

“Sure, I guess.”

John: be future Dave. ====>

Your name is Dave Strider and that was some amazing spaghetti. John warmed it up, on the stove, no less, since the microwave used radiation and was “bad for you” (which apparently means you’re committing a slow suicide with all the microwave burritos and instant ramen you eat), and wow, it’s probably the best you’ve ever had.

Your full stomach and the cup of chamomile tea you had with your food are making your limbs heavy and your eyelids droop. “I’m going to bed,” you mumble, as the messy-haired kid in front of you clears the table and puts the dishes in the sink.

“Okay!” He says, and you can tell he’s as tired as you. You walk over to him and give him a hug, trying to express your gratitude for the food despite your exhaustion.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He gently pushes you off, yawning, and the two of you go up the stairs, you going left at the top, him going right.

You’re about to collapse into the guest bed when your door opens. “Hey, Dave… Can you come sleep in my room? You really scared me, and I know I’m being paranoid, but-”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, bro,” you mumble, cutting him off, but not really caring.

“Thanks.”

With that, the two of you stumble down the hall to John’s room, quietly padding inside and climbing under the covers together, back-to-back.

Dave: be John. ====>

Your name is John Egbert and Dave is already snoring right next to you. You smile, because it’s almost cute how quickly he fell asleep. Almost.

You can feel yourself drifting off as the room slowly gets darker. You yawn quietly, rolling over subconsciously as a warm arm surrounds your torso. You don’t have time to contemplate whose arm that is or think about the fact that you and your best friend are now cuddling in your bed, because you fall asleep immediately, and all you can think about before the fact is how unbelievably warm and comfortable and complete you feel where you are.


	7. Even You Can't Resist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled in which John realises that he totally has a crush on Dave. Short, and mainly just there to push the plot forward and finally update this damn thing.

Your name is John Egbert, and you are _not_ gay. And even if you _were_ gay-which you _aren’t_ -you are most _certainly_ not into your best friend. Even if you _were_ , you’re at least 90% sure that he’s straight, anyways.

 

**John: stop lying to yourself. ==== >**

 

Okay, fine, you _might_ not be straight. And it could be said that you can’t remember the last time you legitimately had a crush on anyone, let alone a girl.

It could also be said that Dave just _might_ be starting to attract your attention more than usual, and you could, quite possibly, have the _teensiest, tiniest_ bit of a crush on him. Nothing major, of course. Assuming that all of this was true, you would, of course, simply wait for the feeling to fade.

 _Knowing_ that all of this is true, you curse that _damn_ sleepover every chance you get. That was when it started.

Once the two of you woke up that morning and assessed the situation, you’d agreed not to speak of the fact that you were _totally_ cuddling, past the point of denial, and have almost religiously avoided the subject for the entire two weeks that have passed since Halloween.

 _However_ , you never agreed not to _think_ about it, and you can’t seem to stop yourself anyways. Frankly speaking, it’s pissing you off quite a bit; mostly because hugging, which you and Dave do quite often, has become a struggle of trying not to think about how _right_ it feels. You always fail to avoid thinking about it.

At the moment, you so happen to have just received a surprise hug from the self-proclaimed cool kid himself, prompting the inner monologuing.

 

**John: check on Dave. ==== >**

 

“Hey, Dave? Are you okay? This is, like, the twentieth time you’ve hugged me today.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that I’m tired, and you’re comfortable.”

You roll your eyes and shove his shoulder. He groans a little, but takes the hint, and gets off of you.

“We’re _supposed_ to be studying, you know.”

“I’m tired,” he says, as though he hadn’t already established that. “And you’re being spacey, anyways.”

‘Well, that’s _your_ fault,’ you think, crossing your arms.

The look on his face makes you wonder if you said that out loud.

 

**John: be Dave. ==== >**

 

Your name is Dave Strider, and what the _fuck_ was _that_ supposed to mean?

“How is that _my_ fault?”

“Um. Because! It just _is_!”

“John.”

“Yes?” He’s refusing to look at you, but you think you can see his face getting pink.

“That’s not an explanation.”

“Okay, well, maybe I don’t have a valid explanation!”

“Maybe that’s making me more curious.”

“Maybe this is making me uncomfortable.”

“Maybe I’m getting more curious by the second.”

“Well, maybe you should mind your own fucking business!”

The sudden increase in the volume of John’s voice catches you off-guard, and for a second, you’re struck speechless. John’s never yelled at you before. You don’t think you’ve ever even heard John yell at _anyone_ before.

“...Okay. Sorry.”

“Whatever…”

You poke his arm until he looks up at you, annoyance clear on his face.

“I _am_ sorry, you know. I didn’t know it would bother you that much.”

He sighs, and his expression softens at the same time at which his shoulders drop down to a normal position. “I forgive you. It’s just...kinda complicated, that’s all.”

You nod and hug him, noticing that he stiffens before he hugs back.

You decide you’re going to have to ask him about that later.


	8. Not A Chapter

NO TIME LIKE THE WEEK BEFORE FINALS TO FINALLY PICK UP A FIC THAT'S BEEN ON A SORT OF WEIRD HIATUS THING FOR LIKE A YEAR, RIGHT?? HAHAHA

 

New chapter coming in; it'll definitely be here within the next two weeks and I'm hoping to get it done over this coming weekend--that said, next week  _is_ finals week so I might not have time what with study guides and all, hooboy. But I have my boyfriend to encourage me and about an hour and fifteen minutes ahead of me before I need to get to bed, so I will put in what effort I can to get a new chapter up by tonight (but given that it's a school night, don't get your hopes up).

 

Honestly this story was so important to me last year, because it was my freshman year and also my first year of figuring myself out; I was inspired to write this in the first place because I came out as trans, so it still holds a place in my heart that's super important to me.

Of course, in early March-ish, I had a really bad breakup and everything sort of spiraled down from there; my studies were damn near impossible to handle, my friend group at school was having some seriously stupid drama over something most of them shouldn't've even cared about because it's none of their goddamned business, my questionable friendship with my ex-boyfriend only grew to be more questionable and less stable, and then there came the  _other_ boyfriends I had between him and the one I have now.

 

What I mean to say, of course, is that it's just been a lot to handle and some other things in my life became too important to be ignored, and really I'm probably dooming myself as it is, but I need to continue this because it's important to me too, and I realise that more now than I did before.

 

Also, probably more important to you guys, there's some changes in the story from how it's planned and I may soon have to take away that "no direct abuse depicted" tag, just a heads-up to anyone who might need to stop reading as a result, make sure to check the tags because I'll edit them before posting the new chapter.

 


End file.
